I think Tiny Tim got really chilled waiting in line on Black Friday.
And Cyber Monday.
Come to think of it, somebody told me he was at the mall the other day, too. Amazing, since he hit the deck real hard when he lost a tug of war over some on-sale Levi’s. Gotta give him credit for gettin’ back on the horse.
We had coffee at his house the other day. I didn’t say anything, but you shoulda seen the place. Like Santa’s workshop, but no ho ho ho. Bags from Macy’s and Target and Aeropostale with who-knows-what in ’em. Honestly, I don’t think Tim even knows.
Tim told me he couldn’t resist. “So what’s left over’ll go into the storage locker with last year’s stuff. No big deal.”
I don’t wanna say anything, but he seemed a little stressed. Okay, okay, a lot stressed. Nasty nightmares, even when he could sleep. Way overspending. I gotta say, the marriage ain’t lookin’ so good, either. Vicky’s back at her mother’s; said she just couldn’t bear to hear one more ***damn ring-a-ling-ling. What? I didn’t tell you? Tim sat on a bag of bells, didn’t notice, and they somehow worked their way into…well, you know where. Actually a nice sound when he moved; a little muted, but what the hey.
All that shopping, gotta be listed somewhere they talk about sicknesses. But you know Tim; can’t tell him anything.
If you ask me, I think all this joy and peace and fa la la la la is killing him.
So, hey, me and the missus, we’re gonna do this 90% off warehouse sale. Gonna go early. Like before the sun’s up. Wanna come?
Kathe Skinner is a Marriage & Family Therapist and Certified Relationship Coach. She has a small stash of presents for somebody-in-the-future but has considerably whittled down her holdings. She’s a firm believer in the concept of ceasing all manufacturing of giftable goods, believing everyone should recycle stuff by shopping at one big garage sale. She and husband, David, live in Colorado with Petey and Lucy, kitties who leave little presents for them all year round.
©2013 Being Heard, LLC
One thought on “‘TIS THE SEASON TO LOSE BIG CLUMPS OF HAIR”
You are a very funny writer! Hope you’re well and enjoying the holidays!!!
Thinking of you,