For as long as I can remember, the rule of Christmas-gift-giving was there was only one big gift. Underwear, knee socks, paperback books, cd’s, or Chapstick didn’t count – even if they got put in one big box. That last Christmas with my ex-husband was no exception. Small but very pricey, my big gift was 2 tickets to see the Celtics play the Knicks.
Thing was, I didn’t like basketball. Still don’t.
He’d broken the cardinal rule of gifting: Give a gift the other person wants to get, not the one you want the other person to have.
That was the last holiday we shared.
I’ve been married to David for 29 years now and we give “conscious gifts” about big things, like a trip. That way, big-ticket gifts aren’t saved only for holidays, so we’re not forced to give because the calendar says so.
Giving is something we do consciously, and all the time. Often consumables, inexpensive surprises show up at our house almost every week. Those little gifts are small and consistent ways we’ve found to show love to each other.
With the insight of a married couple and the experience of Certified Instructors for ICPs Couple Communication program, Kathe and David teach a 12-hour Couple Communication Workshop throughout the year. The next class begins September 24, 7-9 pm. Register now; Workshops are small and fill up fast.
Copyright, 2015 Being Heard, LLC
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